Life

After attending one of my classes today, I was speaking to a friend of mine, Brandon, about existing. I asked him what the point of existing was. At first his answer was a flat, "there is no point to existing". After I responded with a, "does that mean existence is futile?", he changed his tone a bit. He went from there to say that we only exist to leave a carbon footprint, an imprint of ourselves, on this earth so that we will be remembered. My friend is not a man of faith mind you. The underlying point ended up being that we are born just to die. If you don't make something of yourself while you're here, then you won't be remembered.

This caused me to think a bit. Do I want to die and have a funeral where people are praising my efforts while I was on earth? Or is my funeral going to be empty with the exception of maybe my surviving family and my widow because I was an asshole in my life? No one truly wants to be alone. Even those who say they want to be alone are craving some sort of want deep in their bones. On the same level, no one wants an empty funeral. And as depressing as this is to talk about, I think it needs to be stated. I sorely wish the world will end before I die, I do, but I doubt it will happen. However, I won't put it past scientists to create a virus that will turn us into zombies... but that's another story. I do not want to go out unknown. I see life as an opportunity.. But I feel like I'm grasping at straws now. I need that life changing event still! I need someone to show me what my life is going to lead to. I know someone will though. I know someone will show me exactly where my life needs to go. Until then, I sit here waiting patiently. Or more like anxiety... because I want the zombies to attack already.

-ciao