I don't know why

I don't know who reads these. I don't know if I want anyone to read them... but sometimes venting is the only way to get things out. And more times than not, Notebook doesn't cut it.
Where to begin?
I'm about 6'5, dirty blonde hair, a bit overweight but currently losing it, and a bit more sensitive than most people would prefer. I'm a nerd, an athlete, a dork... almost any word you can think of has been used to describe me at one point. But in reality, I don't know myself. My whole life is based on what others have told me I am. Unfortunately, I've grown up pretty much believing everything anyone else says. Or at least the different names they've called me.

At this point I have a fair few things that keep me sane... I'd say 5. I've gotta great family who backs me up on almost anything I do. They sometimes forget how old I  actually am but it's something I can deal with until I get the chance to move out.
I've gotta faith in God that has gotten me through so many troubles in my life. I always have Him to turn to, though I probably turn to Him a lot less than I should. I don't thing I am a bad Christian at all.. I just don't use my time wisely when it comes to God.
Next, I've got my friends. I have ones I've known since first grade, and ones that I just met in college.They all are different but something about each  one draws me to them.. sometimes I question what but I always find out in the end.
Fourth, I've got my video games, especially WoW.. Of course those are self explanatory.

Last, and most importantly, I have a beautiful girlfriend who doesn't ever give herself the credit she deserves. She is my go to girl for the most part. She is always there for me. We don't get to see each other half as much as we wish we could but eventually that will change. She's had a rough life, to be sure, which makes it hard to for her to accept any form of happiness. It makes me think.. Really, besides everything I want for her, I want her to realize that she can be happy with me and that I am EXTREMELY happy with her. I could never leave her for anything, for anyone. I've heard the term that being with a certain person is as natural as breathing. It's kinda how I feel with her. I really don't know what I would do without her in my life. It's something I wish she knew. And if she does then I wish I knew she did. I want to know she's as happy as I am, 24/7. Because for me, thinking about her when I know I can't see her, is all the happiness I need.